Luke and Dhana (sadly the wedding did not take place)
DHANA TELLS THEIR STORY
Luke and I met on Tinder, of all places. We talked about our favourite conspiracy theories and I quizzed him quite incessantly about why I had never seen a baby crow and he entertained me with countless possible theories. We got to talking about all our shared – and generally obscure – interests and agreed that whatever was to happen we would make fantastic friends. We set a date to meet, but the night before I decided to give him a quick call to break the ice. We ended up talking for six hours, well into the morning. By the end of that phone call I knew I had found someone special. We talked all about our previous relationships and our plans to break cycles, we were on the same page with everything. He expressed admiration for me having taken on the care of my disabled nephew and sang snippets of Destiny’s Child’s “Independent Women” to me whenever I talked about something particularly grown up. He endeared himself to me immediately.
The next day we met for our first date (although I considered the six hours of phone call the previous evening to be a pretty great first date) and I remember going to meet him at his house and his room was impeccably clean and he was so nervous, and I fell head over heels. He took me to a quiet little rooftop bar and looked at me like I was magical for the whole night, and ever onwards. He gave me piggy-backs and endured my silly karate moves. I called my mum as soon as I got home and told her all about this wonderful man, about how he made me feel so precious, about how he thought I was beautiful BECAUSE of my cleft lip, not in spite of it. How he told me so: that I was beautiful and special, and he was so glad he met me. I remember that first night so clearly.
We carried on our relationship like teenagers for the most part, which was delightful. I would put my son to bed and get my housemate to babysit and come to visit at night with fast food and we would watch horror movies and cuddle or play video games together. We decided not to introduce my son, Niku, to Luke immediately as he is severely autistic and it was important to both of us to be sure that we provide him with safety and security first and foremost. So, for a few months we just got to know each other and fell in love a little every day.
We didn’t get a whole lot of time before Luke got sick. Initially it was a bout of influenza, and I actually stayed away from him as I didn’t want to make Niku sick. And then after a few weeks he was diagnosed with liver cancer. A few weeks after that we were told that he was terminal, and the time-frame kept shifting from years to months to… well, where we’re at now. Where every day is a blessing.
Luke asked me if I would marry him in typical Luke fashion, which was something along the lines on “And if I did ask, what would you say?” And I said that I would, of course, say yes. Not getting years together does not diminish our love for one another.
When he came home from hospital, I took Niku to meet him and his family. The memories of that day are cemented in my mind and will forever have the rosy glow of something genuinely special. Niku bonded with the family immediately. And Luke was immediately endeared to Niku’s quirky nature and interesting behaviours. While being a most beautiful day in memory, it will also remain one of my saddest: as I realised that had Luke not become sick we would have had a wonderful life together. He would have loved my baby like his own.
The wedding that never was
With growing excitement Luke and Dharna’s wedding came together beautiful with generous wedding suppliers eager to jump on board to help make their day special. Because of Luke’s failing health they decided to have the wedding at home surrounded by the special people in their lives.
Sadly, My Wedding Wish received news the day prior to the wedding that Luke was too unwell to go ahead with the ceremony and it was cancelled.
Luke passed on 14th November 2017